Sep 2006

Granola Bar EULA

This is one of the silliest things I've ever seen.

You know all about EULAs? Well, if you've ever installed software, you've probably breezed through and clicked the "accept" button on an End User License Agreement. This legalese document means you accept the terms of their extremely long highly unreadable text indicating that no matter how they screw up it's not their fault (it's due to your incompetence of course) and they will take your firstborn if you so much as look at them the wrong way. You didn't notice this small detail (the firstborn, that is) because you fell asleep somewhere after the seventh page when you really just wanted to update your printer driver and print out those greeting cards.

But I digress.

The silly thing is that I've now seen one of these EULAs on food. Worse yet, on my Granola Bar, of all things.

Yes yes, someone no doubt thought that since so one was reading the entire long list of indigestible food products on the list, and they were skipping the increasingly long list of things that someone might be allergic to (even though that is also in the aforementioned list), that we needed to cover yet all the bases and warn people that they had to READ THE LABEL EVERY TIME. If they didn't read the label, well then, there's always that firstborn.

It's no longer safe to rip open my granola bar when I am feeling those hunger pangs. No, I need to pause and inspect everything on the back of the label to check to make sure everything is ok, and I need to do it EVERY TIME before I rip open that package, thereby clicking the virtual accept button.

You doubt me? Well, this tiny little message wasn't on my last granola bar, but now, behold:

Oh yeah, they've run out of space on the back of the bar. They're going to have to increase the size of the bar (thereby increasing caloric intake and serving size, mind you), so that they can add more legalese.